The rebellion begins…

April 11, 2010

So my parents have just realised that I’ve applied to student finance – against their wishes. I bottled out of completely standing my ground and told a sort of half-truth to placate them for now – that you can’t apply to any grants etc without having received the loans. It’s almost entirely true – you can’t apply to the Access to Learning Fund unless you’re in receipt of the full maintenance loan, and the same goes for the maintenance grant. I didn’t tell them that my application to the tuition fee loan was completely voluntary.

It’s complicated with me and my parents. I just want to be able to live my own life, and I want them to be a part of that. But I know that once I get to uni and start living my own life, they’re not going to want to be a part of it. Things will get messy. I’m not talking about a full scale rebellion – not talking about going completely off the rails. But being hardcore Muslims, they have a very different set of tracks in mind for me.

I feel so ungrateful to them sometimes. They haven’t exactly provided a stable home environment, sure, but they’ve looked after me and fed and clothed me my entire life. Well, mum has. The dad – not so much. But it’ll break her heart when we clash, which we will eventually. It’s inevitable really.

On a more cheerful topic, the weathers completely flip-flopped…

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3 Responses to “The rebellion begins…”

  1. Maram said

    I can empathise with you (or at least, to an extent). I’m also an ex-Muslim, but luckily my parents are not particularly strict so I can get away with not wearing a scarf or praying. Having said that, I’m only sixteen at the minute and it’s basically inevitable that I’m going to have to make some kind of choice between them and my own freedom when I’m older. I would rather choose the latter, selfishly, but I hate that they’ll suffer because of it. In Islam it’s really important to bring up Muslim children as well, which will make any anti-Islam decisions I make harder for them.

  2. sophie said

    Hi,

    wow. I kind of relate to you too. Same thing with mine. Took a long time to get my on life, but kept persisting. Also took a few sacrifices.

    What exactly are you planning to do in the name of freedom when you get to uni?

    If it will cause your mum to get mad then it must be something challenging…

    Itching to know! keep us updated!

    • No no,

      It’s amazingly easy to make my mum mad. In fact she tends to manage it by herself most of the time, it’s quite impressive.

      I basically just want to live my own life, my parents are extremely religious and I’m not so much, although I haven’t exactly told them that. But the way they’re so jugemental towards the rest of our extended family and how they live, I highly doubt they’ll be too pleased with me 😦

      Thanks for the comments 😀

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